Muck

You know those times when you are blissfully running across a lush meadow, looking ahead at the place heading and then you realize that the meadow is full of soggy water and you end up with your foot sinking down into muck and before you realize it the next one has gone down too.  Bewildered and not sure what to do next.  You know you have to get yourself out of there, but how to do it without losing a shoe or falling on your face.  Plus, once you get out you of the muck you still have to trudge forward through the rest of the soggy mess to reach your intended destination.  So, here I am, standing in the muck and refusing to go forward, too tired to assess the situation, but also too hopeful to just lay down and give up.

For over a year I have been learning everything I could and reading every book I could get my hands on about aspergers to help my daughter.  Meanwhile, for the past six months I was also learning much about Sensory Processing Disorder to help my son.  I felt pretty good about it, like we had a path and a plan for my son.  He was doing Occupational Therapy once a week and making progress.  I am thankful for that progress, and thankful for the tools and skills that he gained from OT.  Our therapist was truly amazing!  Then, we were told that there wasn't much more OT could do and we should go get yet another evaluation.

After an evaluation with a team of people, plus tons of questionnaires, and a follow up I was told my son has ADHD.   Now, somehow this is hard to take, much harder than when I learned my daughter had aspergers. You hear about wonderful people with autism, geniuses.  I am pretty sure you never hear anything great about ADHD people.  (If you do please leave me a comment!)  I know ADHD is the most common misdiagnosed thing in children.  I also know my son can pay attention.  I also don't know anything about ADHD.  I have started trying to learn a little bit.  I got the book that the Dr.recommended and read 7 pages, then I stopped.

  I just feel like it was surprise muck.  Surprise muck that I am not even sure is real.  Although, the little I have read is making sense.  It just seems so big.  I made the mistake of reading what ADHD looks like as a teenager and it scared the hell out of me!  So I stopped reading and here I stand, knee deep in muck trying to figure out my next move and sort of feeling like maybe I will just stand here.